Move North!

I'm asking if you will commit to directing the Department of Defense to prepare plans for the invasion of Canada. America's traditional way of life, the small farmers who make up the historical lifeblood of our country, have grown the same crops for generations. These crops only thrive in specific bands of temperature and weather. As these agrarian bands move north it is our duty to follow them, for the farmers.

Don't take our word for it, renowned scientist agree.